Growing up in a Baptist church, I can remember saying to God at a really young age, “I’ll do anything you want me to do, just don’t ask me to go to Africa.” Missionaries would come and tell their wonderful stories of God’s work and how much they loved serving Him overseas, and I would think to myself, I will never go there.

Several years ago, my good friend Jay Madden went to Malawi on a mission trip through Willow Creek Community church.  He was on staff there at the time and I began to hear him talk about Stella Kasirye and the work Willow was involved with in Chitipa.  Jay and his wife Rebecca later moved to Atlanta to serve Peachtree Presbyterian Church as Missions Pastor, and that church got involved in the mission in Malawi.  Four years ago my husband Will went for the first time and has been each summer for two weeks to help with the youth camp. Two years ago our youngest daughter Frances went with him. Stella spent some time in our home a couple of years ago.  I remember her beautiful voice singing around our piano.  But I still didn’t want to go to Africa. I was in graduate school when all this Malawi stuff started, and I was not even remotely interested in being a part of this.  Then I was doing internships and accruing clinical hours and working and it was all good for any of those in our family who wanted to go.  I just didn’t want to go.  I don’t like long airplane flights, I’m a picky eater, and I really love my bed.

In November of last year, Fidelis Kambalame spent a week with us in Greenville while on a month long trip to the US.  Fidelis serves as sort of the “man on the ground” in Chitipa, working with the kids, forming relationships and helping make it possible for them to go to school and get an education.  Fidelis has been Will’s translator when he’s preached in local churches.  They became fast friends.  Frances loved getting to know Fidelis when she was over there too. Will kept telling me how much I would love him, but I was still a little nervous about having him for a week. What were we going to talk about for seven days?

Fidelis was as wonderful as everyone said he was, and he fell in love with my black lab Rosie. I’m partial to anyone who loves my dog.  

Fidelis lost both his parents at an early age and is an amazing young man.  I don’t even have words to describe how much I love him.  When he was leaving to go back to Atlanta, I was saying goodbye to him in the church parking lot.  I asked him if he’d let me be his mom and he said yes. From that moment on, when we text or Facebook message or Skype, he calls me “mum” and my heart swells.  But I told him too that I wasn’t coming to Malawi. He’d have to come back to see this mum.

In November I quit my job and took some time off.  Being in school and working and marrying  off two of our three girls had felt like a lot to me, and I was eager to rest and reflect.  After the first few weeks, I felt myself slowing down and not feeling some of the pressure and stress I had grown so accustomed to.  One day Will sent me an email from Jay with the dates of this year’s trip.  I emailed him back and asked him if he sent me the dates because he wanted me to go. He replied, “sure if you want to”.  I knew he thought I was just kidding, and I probably was.  I don’t know what caused me to ask him if he wanted me to go. But when he said sure, I got to thinking.  I realized I didn’t feel that huge I DON’T WANT TO GO thing I’d always felt.  It wasn’t like I heard God’s voice telling me to go.  I know He speaks to some people like that, but not me.  Not ever.  I just didn’t feel the enormous resistance any more.

So I said I’d go, and I messaged Fidelis.

What! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Prayer answered!!!!!! I have been praying about this! !!! Wow. Am super super excited! !! Super excited! !! Thank you mum. I cant wait to see you mum. In exactly 7 months time. Am blessed! Thank you so much. #speechless#. I just woke up to go my exercises ..then I see this. Wow. Love you mama.

So this girl who said she’d never go is going. To Africa. On a plane for a really long time. With my husband to see my son.  He promised me I wouldn’t have to eat goat liver.  I’m going to hold him to that! We leave July 19th, and as of last week Frances is going again as well as our middle daughter Caroline.  This time last year as we were getting ready for a wedding at our house, I never thought I’be planning a trip to Africa. I’ll be honest, I’m nervous.  Nothing’s changed about my dislike of long plane trips, unfamiliar food or comfortable beds.  But something has changed.