I recently heard a song called Good, Good Father by Housefires. If you’re not familiar with it, here’s a link:
Oh, I’ve heard a thousand stories
Of what they think You’re like.
But I’ve heard the tender whisper
Of love in the dead of night.
And You tell me that You’re pleased
And that I’m never alone.
You’re a good, good Father.
It’s who You are, it’s who You are, it’s who You are.
And I’m loved by You.
It’s who I am, it’s who I am, it’s who I am.
Oh, and I’ve seen many searching
For answers far and wide.
But I know we’re all searching
For answers only You provide.
Because You know just what we need
Before we even say a word.
Because You are perfect in all of Your ways!
You are perfect in all of Your ways!
You are perfect in all of Your ways to us!
Oh, it’s love so undeniable,
I can hardly speak.
Peace so unexplainable,
I can hardly think.
As You call me deeper still,
As You call me deeper still,
As You call me deeper still,
into love, love, love …
I literally can’t get the words to the chorus out of my mind.
You’re a good, good Father.
It’s who You are.
And I’m loved by You.
It’s who I am.
I’m not sure I believe this. I mean I want to believe it. I would tell people that I believe it. But I don’t live like it. Many things have happened to me and to people I love that I don’t think are just or fair, and that makes me question God’s goodness. If He is really good, then……………….. I know it doesn’t make sense, and I get all the theology about original sin and this fallen world we inhabit. But sometimes God doesn’t feel all that good.
And the I am loved by you, it’s who I am part? That’s even harder to believe. Again, I know it in my head. I’ve read it in the Bible and I’ve studied it with Beth Moore. I’ve written about it. I teach about it. But on most days I don’t live like it’s true. As if I’m the only person on the planet who God’s love doesn’t apply to. Really?
In Mark 9:20 Jesus is about to heal a boy who has been possessed by demons his entire life. His father has heard that Jesus can heal and he brings the boy to Jesus, just in case the rumors are true. When they bring the boy to Jesus, the spirit see Jesus and “it immediately threw the boy into a convulsion. He fell to the ground and rolled around, foaming at the mouth.”
21 Jesus asked the boy’s father, “How long has he been like this?” “From childhood,” he answered. 22 “It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.” 23 “‘If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for one who believes.” 24 Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” 25 When Jesus saw that a crowd was running to the scene, he rebuked the impure spirit.“You deaf and mute spirit,” he said, “I command you, come out of him and never enter him again.” 26 The spirit shrieked, convulsed him violently and came out. The boy looked so much like a corpse that many said, “He’s dead.” 27 But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him to his feet, and he stood up.
I love verse 24. I do believe. Help me overcome my unbelief! The Amplified Bible, verse 24 says it this way:
At once the father of the boy gave [an eager, piercing, inarticulate] cry with tears, and he said, Lord, I believe! [Constantly] help my weakness of faith!
I have my own demons and I’m sure you have yours. I don’t foam at the mouth, but mine often throw me to the ground and I begin to believe things like God isn’t a good father and I am not loved by Him.
Lord, I believe! [Constantly] help my weakness of faith!
Thank you!