So last week I was at the beach on vacation with Will and some good friends. While South Carolina was having a time of it with record rainfall, the Gulf coast stayed as beautiful as ever. I ate enough fried seafood to last me a long time and came home Saturday night feeling pretty rotten. My body knows when I put crap in it, and a week at the beach is not where I eat the healthiest. Between the shrimp, crab cakes, oysters and adult beverages, I knew it was time for a reset.

Sunday morning when I woke up I resolved to get back on track with my eating and determined to not eat sugar or carbs for a few days. And no wine. Then I got online and saw all my blogger friends participating in the Write for 31 Days challenge and I got a little blogger envy and decided it wasn’t too late for me to jump in and join the fun. I also put a lot of pressure on myself to get the mess in my house cleaned up from the bathroom renovations we’ve been doing for the last seven weeks, which is forever in bathroom time. The tile dust, grit and grime, and construction debris was everywhere and I want to get in there and start painting. Because me painting saved money and since a lot of other money was not saved, I said I would do it.And then a cousin passed away, which means a two-day round trip drive to Memphis and back tomorrow and Friday. This wasn’t in the original painting plans.

So in one day, I gave up sugar, carbs, and alcohol. I committed to write every day for 31 days. I pressured myself to get the bathroom painted because there’s this deadline in my head that isn’t real. And I was not a happy girl. This is too much and I do this to myself routinely. I go all in, sometimes overboard, and then I feel pressure and stress and I’m not that nice. I had a little talk with my friend, who reminded me that I did this to myself. All this stress and anxiety was my own doing. While I ate terribly at the beach, I am not characterised by eating poorly and I don’t have to give up ALL the good things at the same time. Thank you for that. The writing piece, I decided to stick with. I’m never going to be a writer unless I’m writing, so I’m going to keep trying to participate in the challenge. I get to decide because I’m a grown up and I get to choose.

The bathroom will have to wait. It’s still not done. Parts of it won’t be finished until next week, and I do not have to have that painting done before I go to bed tonight. Which is good because I haven’t started it. And I’m tired and want some chips and salsa and a glass of wine. Which I can have because I said so. Afterall, I am the boss of me.

Photo credit David Walker